Monday, February 19, 2007

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody etc..."

The board of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) establishment-science bigshots have creaked up from their big leather study chairs in the dusty environs of Letswait'll-Allfaxarin Hall and exhaled a proclamation (two weeks after the International Panel on Climate Change's report) that indicates, "Global climate change caused by human activities is occurring now, and it is a growing threat to society."

Thanks for hopping into the fray, old boys. Many studies have indicated that the effects of anthropogenic climate change began sometime in the early- to mid-Nineteenth Century, concurrent with the "Industrial Revolution" and strangely contemporaneous with the founding of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 1848.

What I find interesting about all this is the use of the term "threat to society." As a not-far-from-waterfront dweller, as well as having a history of living aboard vessels, I was curious to see what effect "global warming" would have on adjacent properties.

So I found this "Flood Maps" site that indicates where my port's expensive waterfront property would be if, say, the sea level rose 8 meters. Pretty spooky. Especially if you notice that all the really expensive parcels of real estate are under water. (You can move around and see how your neighborhood does in the calamity, too.) My house is high enough in this scenario. But the neighbors better move, or they'll wreck my view of the newly-expanded shipping lanes.

The threat to society is trying to find a place for the wealthy to live. Most will obviously move to higher ground, and probably sooner than later. But when I look out at Apponogansett Bay, I see a comfortable Mobile Estate. I know it'll take some getting used to, but soon those who were smart enough to invest in a decent yacht will have to live aboard. Most don't sail anyway, preferring to recline in the stern sipping gin-and-tonics. So there you have it: the new "trailer society:" Chip and Muffy pining for the yacht club and the market floor, lolling away their days rafting up to the Rockefellers and joking about Grey Poupon.

Happy times.

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