Thursday, June 7, 2007

Delayed Mammalian Culture Sharing

A rancid stench in the meat of some gray whales has made them inedible to Russian aboriginal hunters,according to a new report. Chemical contamination or disease may be causing the increasing phenomenon of so-called "stinky whales," experts say.
A similar stink is also being noticed in the meat of ringed and bearded seals, walruses, and cod,the report by the International Whaling
Commission(IWC)adds.

This article from National Geographic goes into various reasons for the cetacean stink, but here in and around New Bedford, the Former Whaling Capital of Everywhere,™ we know a few things about it. Them. Back before the IWC became an arm of the Japanese Animal Mistreatment Ministry and gave the Czech Republic's indigenous peoples the right to harvest as many whales from their coastline (of which they have none) that they can eat, things were different.
During the last century, even the Swiss whalers (of which there are none) agreed to fiercely favor the International Whale-Human Comedy Record Exchange.
For you youngsters who are unfamiliar with the "record crazes" of the 1970s, many
"comedians" would record their "routines" on cumbersome vinyl disks which were passed around and played on huge machineries called "record players." You may hear your parents or grandparents drone on wistfully about people with names like "Woody Allen" or "Redd Foxx" or "Bill Cosby" In those dark days before YouTube, people would sit in their living rooms, conversation pits, or dad's cool finished basement rec rooms and listen to people like Steve Martin. Yeah,
the Bowfinger Steve Martin. We got some great humpback recordings in the exchange, like Moby-Larry's "Mmmmbrrrharrr-oo" (still an undeniable classic).
On Steve Martin's Let's Get Small "album," he has a "bit" in which he suggests an effective way to discourage a mugger: "Throw up on your money."

It was, however, a practice among grey whales to eat some "stinky weed" (or hhmmmmbrrrrrrmmmmahh) to create a vile smell that would thwart predators. An uneasy whales' rights group saw Martin's remarks as culturally-insensitive plagiarism.
The case of Moby-MelvinKaminsky vs. Steve Martin, argued by a young Jennifer Walters of the lawfirm of Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway (the most prestigious law firm on the east coast) found that Martin indeed had been aware of the practice and had altered the details to fit human circumstances for the sake of teh funny. But, in the true spirit of cultural exchange, Mr. Martin was allowed to continue to use the "routine," allowing the plaintiff full North Atlantic rights to "Well, excu-u-u-use ME!"

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