Monday, October 15, 2007

Congratulations To Actual Nobel Prizewinners

Since my little slice of The Beach is a microcosm of the larger moral and intellectual decline evident in our once-great nation, I share a few observations from the SouthCoast zeitgeist:

  1. People don't like smarty-pants. Smartypantses.
  2. People don't think of themselves as smartypantses.
  3. SouthCoasters believe anyone who gets an award for anything that doesn't require a ball and readily-identifiable scoring isn't really "excelling" as much as "wasting time doing some smartypants thing nobody cares about."
  4. Awards from foreign places aren't real awards.
  5. Unfamiliar awards are awards anybody can get if they buy them, so only rich people can get them and thus are not real awards.
  6. People should not make a big deal of winning awards. A nice spaghetti dinner, maybe a story in the paper with a picture. But don't dwell on it.
  7. If someone in the media who didn't win the award says something negative about the award, he's probably right. As well as being envious. So who cares about what he said about the stupid thing anyway. Just makes the thing stupider.

I know Paul Krugman wrote about what he calls "Gore Derangement Syndrome." But why do we glorify participants in the 4,812 "reality" shows that follow idiots around as they gleefully and unashamedly wallow in their own filth, whether singing off-key or attempting to win lossa money by indulging in unsavory practices? There'll probably be only a passing mention of "the weirdo envirosocio smartypantses" at the Bioneers By The Bay Conference this weekend.

So here's my congratulations and thanks to Al Gore, for whom I voted in 2000, just like a majority of Americans.

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