Monday, December 17, 2007

An OnLine Journal Wishes Happy Tenth Anniversary to "Blogs"

According to the BBC, today marks the tenth anniversary of the first time that the term "blog" was used to describe the act of logging web activity.
H.M.S. Impossible is an online "journal left open on the galley table, addended as I try to navigate life on The Beach. Feel free to jot your comments in the margins." I said journal.
On many Fridays, I share musings with accompanying links, so that might be a logging of web sites, or a "blog." I call that feature "Soles'n'Bowls" after what a supercilious drill sargeanty ex-Coastie used to call cleaning the heads on a square-rigger I sailed. Not a pretty job, cleaning up after a bunch of Beachdwellers with their noses in Patrick O'Brien books and their asses in pirate costumes. No wonder he was supercilious.
I recently committed a MySpace page and found that a social-networking site is no place for the weak-hearted, but it certainly can be a comfortable home for the weak-minded.
Playing team hockey when you're six is easy. You get dropped off, you suit up, you play, you go eat pizza or ice cream. Everybody gets along, even if you fight, and your parents are part of it. If you're pretty good at skating backward and getting a puck into a net, then you're doing the job and that's fun and Chuck E. Cheese.
See? Simple.
So, what the hell's wrong with MySpace? All these ha'penny narcissists and their goofball "name your five favorite booger flavors" memes and let's all not spell correctly EVAH? Is that what we're celebrating today, on the Anniversary of The Blog? (As if we needed another holiday this month...)
Are we celebrating that we've changed the incidental intimacy and connectivity of friendship to a simple "approval" or "denial" of a clickable "Friend Request"? That you can name all of your favorite bands, movies, songs, books, authors, colors, people, clothes, actors, cars, words, kinds of hair, lips, noses, and smells (with PICTURES!!! and SOUND!!!1!) but you don't have to give your name? Have we so institutionalized mendacity that we aren't bothered when somebody has their PR firm taking care of blogging their innermost thoughts? And you can end every "blog" with "nif u don't like it, you can BOUNCE cuz i no care" ?
A pal held a pool party a while back in order to beam proudly about his beautiful new home, and some old friends who have moved away -- far away -- were in attendance. It was a great time with the usual Summer delicacies and grilling and kids splashing and satellite music and bragging about plans for the backyard pond and gardens.
My Beloved enjoys stopping by H.M.S. Impossible and expects others to do so as well. I gave up on that delusion long ago. She asked a certain pal (let's call the pal "Wyoming Gal") if she ever stopped by. In. Whatever.
Wyoming Gal sort of stammered and said, "Well, I did, but, you know, that it's ..."
Our host then spoke up: "Yeah, it's ..."
A few other partygoers also admitted the website was "..." to them as well.
"I mean, it's not '...,' per se," continued Wyoming Gal. "But I just found that it's ..."
Of course, in conversation, the ellipsis usually accompanies a shrug or a blink or a furtive glance toward the cooler. But I know what they're saying. They're right. This particular on-line journal is "..."
To that crowd, "..." means "a wordy, self-involved waste of time." They're still my friends.
Happy Anniversary!
Or Hpy !Oth Bthdy LOL


Dr. Momentum said...

There's a reason that god invented RSS readers.

ThirdMate said...

Sure, but then you could miss all the zany bonus sidebar hilarity.