Monday, March 10, 2008

Congratulations to the Place I was Born. erm, the building where I w... The company who owns the parking lot where I was born.

I was born at Saint Anne's Hospital, Fall River MA.

Born there.
That means they had a maternity ward and a bunch of doctors and nurses who assisted in birthing, and probably gave advice about babies. I have papers and stuff somewhere that proves it. I was born right there on the corner, in what would be considered the shadow of Saint Anne's Cathedral. What was that about creating a desert and calling it civilization?
Sort of explains a few things, dunnit?
Although the actual wing I was born in is now a parking lot.
Saint Anne's Hospital doesn't do that OB/GYN thing anymore. It was explained to me, by a health care professional, that they couldn't do that anymore "because it would be difficult to reconcile some gynecological procedures with current Catholic Church and Caritas Christi (the owner-operator) dogma."
As a matter of fact, their website has a funny link you should see if you ever wonder what the Catholic Church thinks of Gynecology, and women in general. Go ahead, click this.
Now, knowing Fall River's widely-regarded progressive and liberal reputation, you would imagine that citizens would avoid a regressive Church-controlled misogynistic antiquary. [Except for the special generous God-fearing citizens who pour gobs of money into it at splashy fundraisers so they can get their name in the paper, on a door, and go straight to Heaven after they die (at Saint Anne's).]
You would think that people would just choose to go to Charlton, the other hospital in town, part of the SouthCoast Hospitals Group, a swell bunch of great mates who have helped me in several ways during the renal failure and Lyme disease episodes of last season. You would think Saint Anne's would be struggling like the other Caritas Christi facilities throughout the Commonwealth.
Even better than Caritas Christi's Saint Elizabeth's in Brighton, the basis for the teevee series St. Elsewhere.
(I was thinking of reviving the franchise as "Saint Analog" or "Saint Antique" and set it right there on South Main and Middle. We all know how that series ends. Only this time, it'll have to be one of Fall River's frightened funders who is dreaming. )

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