Friday, March 14, 2008

Can you repeat that?

Something called "Newsmax Magazine" (yes, the same gang that insists there is no global warming and publishes this sort of thing) has reported online that somebody on Pumpkinhead Ted's crew is apparently a Peckerhead. But may not necessarily still be aboard. (Some will know specifically to whom I refer, and the rest of us can just wonder what salty tar could ever get hisself around the undeniably swishy "Whatever.") To whit... Ted Kennedy Dumps Fuel into Nantucket Sound
Friday, March 14, 2008 9:14 AM

Ted Kennedy has called Nantucket Sound near his Massachusetts estate “a national treasure” — but that didn’t stop the senator from having oil dumped from his yacht into its waters. A local photographer spotted an oil slick coming from Kennedy’s yacht Mya as Kennedy and his guests left the vessel in a launch following a race that ended in Hyannis, the Cape Cod Today newspaper reported.
The lensman was so shocked that he rowed his dinghy out to question the crew member left aboard the yacht. He asked the crewman, “What the hell are you doing?”
The crewman said that diesel fuel had gotten into the bilge and he was told to dump it.
When the photographer pointed out that the yacht was moored in coastal waters near shellfish beds and people swimming, the crewman replied, “Whatever.”

The article is -- surprise surprise -- a little arch and the doctored photograph is damned sophomoric ("shocked" lensman. Yeah, right), but Mya's a pretty boat (a 50-ft Concordia built in Duxbury in 1940), and her owner is an experienced sailor. This report seems irregular. I mean, "diesel fuel had gotten into the bilge" ? (Remember that a pint of oil can cover an acre of harbor. Diesel fuel is much lighter. How much was that again?) And the part about "people swimming." I mean, it's 43°! And the water's a little cooler.
So, dig a little deeper and find that somebody wrote the same article in 2002. Which reads:
The photographer was so shocked as the scene unfolded on the day that the 2002 Figawi Race ended in Hyannis, that he put his dingy into the water and rowed out to question the crew member left aboard Mya that May day.
After he approached the yacht the diesel slick coming from Mya was clear and spreading. He asked the crewman "what the hell are you doing?"
The crewman told him that diesel had gotten into the bilge and he was
ordered to dump it.
When told that he was moored in coastal waters near shellfish beds and people swimming, the man replied, "whatever."

And I gotta go.
As a public service, H.M.S. Impossible reminds everyone that : "You must immediately notify the U.S. Coast Guard if your vessel discharges oil or hazardous substances in the water. Call toll-free 800-424-8802 and report the following information:

  • location
  • source
  • size
  • color
  • substances
  • time observed"

(from the U.S. Coast Guard database of such things)


karie said...

Just why, exactly, has our world become so completely unable to determine the difference between "news" and "bunk"???

The newspaper should be held accountable...made to pay a big fine for wrongful reporting. I am so offended. I am guessing Ted is just used to it. Wish I could just say "whatever."

Large said...

" so you there,... stand by the rail with this mug of DAWN in case we see a slick...."


this is why I now only own a Kayak with 2 paddles...

no diesel, slick

and no Kennedys on chappy..

ThirdMate said...

And a kayaking accident usually won't haunt your entire career with tacky jokes.