Friday, July 25, 2008

Soles'n'Bowls

  • He would have made the move without the loan, says Tony Vieira, owner of The Bay, the Dartmouth clothing store that's moving -- eventually -- to downtown New Bedford. There was a time when if you didn't need financial help, you didn't seek it. And municipalities didn't offer it. But now, since towns offer tax breaks to multinational corporations and everyone buys everything on credit, here you go.
  • I shopped at the store once, found that they needed to change the filters on their air conditioning and that they had the ugliest print shirts imaginable. Which were very popular among the same crowd that tucks in the Hawaiian shirts, and wears black belts with white shorts.
  • I bought one of their three bowties and inquired as to the reasoning behind a severely over-priced and --- seriously -- unwearable ascot. The fellow there asked me, "Are you doin' a play or somethin'?"
  • Oh, how I wish I were.
  • And did anyone notice that, according to the article, the place carries the "Tony Bahama" line? Insert Sopranos funny here.
  • Of course, my bitterness comes from missing Silverstein's.
  • Of course, the fact that they opened Not Your Average Joe's makes things more palatable, but that whiff of chipotle-mango-pineapple-cilantro-ciabatta doesn't make up for the clumsy mishandling of decent Joseph Abboud ties.
  • Some teevee network (that used to play music videos -- remember those?) has given the owner of the next passage her own show. She's 20 (or 19, depending on what equally-unreliable gossip source you frequent), and like most Americans who have recently gotten the opportunity to take part in their government, she thinks aloud (and I hope this was filmed eight months ago) : "You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time, I know I couldn't be able to run a country, 'cause I'd be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"
  • Her dad is Hulk Hogan. So that might explain some of it.
  • So we watch -- if you can stomach it -- the presidential footrace become a horrible series of performances by the dumb yukking it up with the dumber for the benefit of the gullible to profit the careless.
  • So, a documentary in the public interest:

1 comment:

karie said...

I am thinking that Hulk Hogan's daughter must have gone through the "Idiots Course" shown in the video documentary at the bottom of this Friday's "Soles'n'Boles."

Clearly, the moody and emotionally out-of-control girl that she claims to be MUST have had some SERIOUS professional coaching!

Here I was coming off of my newfound belief that Jon Stewart is the funniest man alive... and you've gotta throw in Cleese.
Thanks!