Saturday, September 6, 2008

"Where does the sun go?"

The preparations for Rainstorm HannaNo'H' were actually finished yesterday afternoon when the vineyard guys decided to roll their Montauk onto the middle of the fore grapeyard.A three-hour tour of the Gewurztraminer I was thinking to myself about the times when, if one had waterfront property, after a good blow one would find boats and pieces of boats on one's backyard. But we at stately Goon Manor, even without an ocean view, distrust the unpredictable nature of, erm, nature, and so park vessels on our lawns beforehand.
Other, more community-minded preparations -- like the fact that the hurricane barrier would be closed if seas are expected to be 3 feet above normal -- are detailed in this S-T article. Which has a picture of Kalmar Nyckel's spanker getting furled while they're planning to ride out the whiffs and splashes by running across the street in your foulies and eating at Catwalk or drinking at the National. Or whatever you kids are doing these days.

My college roommate Rich was fond of quoting Saturday Night Live bits. Randomly and loudly. I enjoyed the company of the college roommate, except for that, at times. In fact, I haven't actually sat down to watch Saturday Night Live (or 'SNL' as it is known by modern-day attention-disordered) since I left the rarefied college atmosphere. Which means that I have missed something like twenty years of it.
But every so often I will hear in my mind's ear, as my brain strives vainly to extract that Insipid Credit Report guy from its aural nimbus, Rich and his authentic New Jersey accent doing a passable recreation of Joe Piscopo's 1981 Andy Rooney impersonation, from which I snag the above title.
I tend to use that phrase in my day-to-day discourse when I hear someone who seems rational and calm and whose argument appears terrifically well-thought out, if not completely WRONG-HEADED.
Why I bring that up is my encounter with another nifty waste of the Internets known as iVillage, which, according to my sources, shares important information like J-Lo fashions and boyfriend-pleasuring tips. Like every other misuse of the Interwebs, this particular forum of baby-lovin' down-home-regular-joes with 'puter skills simply ravages my trust that everyone who gets through 10 to 12 years of public schooling is capable of understanding certain simplicities about the world.
For instance, one heyboarder remarks that
We had some driving rain a few weeks ago that resulted in serious flooding to DH's ["Dear Hubby"? "Dumb Hillbilly"? I don't know. I don't get these people] office as well as all of the surrounding buildings and cars. This was just rain with no accompanying high winds. Yes, DH's office is waterfront, but there is a major thoroughfare between the buildings and the water, which was under 3 feet of water itself. The cars that were parked in that area mostly had to be towed away, and it ended up being thousands of dollars of damage to DH's office and the bar that he and his investment group are renovating. Also, his network was down for *2 days* during which he could not do business. This was just from rain.
Thanks a lot for all of your protection, hurricane barrier. It's nice to know that the people in charge think they've got all of their i's dotted and their t's crossed when in reality, the business center of New Bedford would be decimated in the event of a serious storm.
Dear whitewave7 (whose name had better not have any racist overtones, because if it does, I'll never drink at Rose Alley Brew Pub, even if Dear Hubby does get the doors open),
The "driving rain" storm we received last month (and I know, because I was driving in it) was not a hurricane. It did not come from the sea or even from the south. I suspect that you need to deride the hurricane barrier as "one of them new-fangled gadgets that wasted your taxpayer money" (that IS where you were going with that). Besides the fact that the hurricane barrier was built long before you were.
Superciliousness aside, the hurricane barrier does nothing to stop the rain or control flooding in the streets around the inner harbor.
Our hurricane barrier protects the Port of New Bedford from storm surge -- the damaging and destructive ocean rise that comes from a hurricane or "tropical cyclone."
That's why all the boats go behind it.
The hurricane barrier is an active instrument of protection. Like a condom ( with which you might familiarize yourself. iVillage has many discussions for your edification and titillation). The Army Corps of Engineers shuts the huge gates. Then the waves that come into the harbor are smaller ones. The Army Corps did not shut the gates during the rainstorm to abate poor drainage.
BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT IT DOES!
I could go on like this, but, really: What's the point?
As in every other online forum, the weak-minded and dysopinionated pump their bilge into the public arena in order to connect to other like-minded socio-dolts and create a community that displays and defends its own dreck. Misinformation, lies, fallacies, prejudices, and superstition flow like a flood that is never corrected or contained.
Because it is there, in the public eye, forever.
And no hurricane barrier can stop it.
Fair winds, everyone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

someone out there was stupid enough to be mad because a hurricane barrier neglected to stop downhill flooding during a ranstorm? you must be joking. that "dreck" MUST be preceeded by retarded.