Monday, December 22, 2008

Your Flame-broiled Video Yule Log

In their implacable journey to find just how low they can get, a certain "fastfood" (empty-calorie-processed cholesterol-high fructose corn syrup-and-sodium) hut has decided to wedge its ambiance of foul feculence into little bad tattoo-logoed canisters and waste a great deal of funny webspace and ironically clever sardonicism to market it.
The above is an image of a page that you can see if you click ("spray") the little can on THEIR website (not mine). But be aware that amid all the idyllic beach scenes and trippy rose petals and Barry White, the King makes a come-hither pitch that... well, the "eww" factor is just too much.
They're selling it "for a limited time" only, which means that collectors of repellent kitsch should be covering any of Burger King's costs. And that's not saying much since they're retailing it for 4 bucks. Flame is, according to the King, "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Or, some perfumier's mistake turned to gold by the smartass in the lab who said, "Hey, maybe we can sell all this to some burger joint, you know, like a 'vanity scent.'"
I can clearly remember the last 6 times I've eaten at those places over the past 5 years. I sure don't want to smell like one.


Chuck said...

SWMBO says I smell like Salami. And likes it on me. I might take a stab at marketing it. No punch-line, just thought I'd share.

ThirdMate said...

It's ('are'?) the holidays, so "no punch-line" is only right. But the next time I see you or her: oh, boy...