Monday, January 26, 2009

Dumb Dumb Dumb and Wrong

Herald News again:

Goodbye tourism! Hello, “the arts!” Right now, people looking to get city government’s attention find the nearest condemned building and say, “We want to turn this building into residences and studios for artists.” Saying “arts” to a city council is like saying “Corvette”to my high school girlfriend; you’re gonna get some attention. And, Lord knows, I love me some artists. Whenever Fall River has an art fair, I go and I buy my fiancee a piece of that “jewelry” that’s really just colored rocks strung on a length of silver wire. If it’s a short wire, it’s an earring. If it’s a long wire, it’s a necklace. Medium length wire? Bracelet. My liking for (or at least willingness to buy) “rocks on a wire” jewelry doesn’t mean that I think every vacant building should be filled with colorful, paisley-swathed craftpersons boring holes in rocks. No one knows why artists prefer living in rundown 100 year-old rockpiles in shaky neighborhoods, but apparently they do. I think it makes the artists feel edgy and street-wise. If that’s true, then why don’t artists just go live in the projects and get it over with?


Nobody has yet explained why this turd continues to hold on to his moronic Larry the Cable Guy shtick -- even now that we've all decided that America is no longer a country that defines itself by belching the alphabet and saying nu-kyu-ler.
I am embarrassed when members of the media don't know things. Even more embarrassed when they swagger insolently about not knowing things. I'm not a member of the media anymore. (I have an online journal, which -- in some cases -- gives me the right to not use facts. But I do, usually, except when I go off and start talking about my life as a circus performer. And that's only because I didn't really and don't know all the names of the things. You know. The firey-twirly things. You know... no, not batons...)
I know, however, when I'm beat. I can't come up with any knee-slappers like offhandedly querying "why don’t artists just go live in the projects and get it over with?"
You see, the artists that I know live in pretty nice apartments, condos, some on million-dollar estates, and make no pretense of edginess, because that doesn't go over well at the Club. Nor does it go over well in the teachers' lounge, or the lumber yard, or the boardroom. They are taxpayers and mothers and fathers and boardmembers and whatever a lint-covered pen-pusher cannot ever aspire to or care to know about, due to its disordered personality.
Q. What is the worst possible kind of writer? A. The INCURIOUS kind.
It would never occur to him, bloated on his easy Monday column "gonner mek funna dem artsy-fartsies" reverie, to see the actual artists in his community. The executive director, the copywriter, the graphic designer, the cartoonist, the jewelry fabricator, the sound engineer, the architect, the guy down the hall writing the screenplay, the photographer, the actress ...
I always feel a discomposure whenever I hear someone deprecate artists.
Reminds me of high school when kids were afraid that the tough guys will call them a fag if they say anything about Drama Club. I'm sure Dion enjoyed his ration of swirlies.
Maybe that's the problem with the creative industries, They can't thrive where people act like that. There. Richard Florida wrote a hundred and forty-three books about it. I used a paragraph.
Marc Monroe Dion has insulted my friends. Friends who are seriously wealthier and smarter and contribute more to society than he'll ever be. Friends who have my enduring love and respect. (I save my readers by not ruining my entire journal entry with his inerudite ramblings, so you can read the rest here, although I don't know why anyone would.) Creative industries do not need to be lampooned in a newspaper column, just because the author is afraid of or unaware of the impact that creative industries have on communities. For communities.
I had to laugh that the second comment on the unwashed typer part mentions the Bounty. Sorry that The Foundation couldn't save you, "trenchmouth," from your life of impecuniousity. You were standing by with your arms crossed while the other unmovables sank the ship. (Which is doing very well now, out of the clutches of Fall River's cronyism and incompetence. Goes to England, even.)
It is exaltingly liberating to shout from the rooftop about one's devastating puerility, innit, Monsieur Dion? "Rocks on wire,""art fair,""paisley-swathed craftpersons." But you do no one any good. You destroy without thought. And you're not even any good at it. So the next time you want to berate and belittle the arts, Mister Shit-kickerHat, just remember that writing is:
One of those Arts.
Y'all.
Though one would never expect you to imagine that.

6 comments:

karie said...

I am simply amazed at how this "writer" for the FR Herald insists, over and over and over, upon puking up such junk - smothering any spark of hope the people of that city can work hard to dredge up. How does that populace, rich with artists and creators of many varieties, tolerate such idiocy everyday?! Is there an editor at that... FR, SouthCoast deserves SO MUCH better!

ThirdMate said...

Dion has crapped out his Monday column for as long as I can remember, and it has always been this one. He overhears a couple of losers (in the 99 where he sips Miller lite and watches NESN) and mistakes their nescience for the vox populi and he hands it in.

While I admit that Fall River as a community hasn't treated "The Ahts" in a welcoming fashion, Dion's ignorance of economic reality is inexcusable. But he will go on brownnosing the carrion of a largely useless demographic with this tripe.

You know that the creative class is not encouraged by newspaper columnists who are ignorant. Or by the loser commentarazzi who fear everything and insult what they don't understand on a daily basis. Ask around. Nobody we know reads the comments online or listens to talk radio. Good riddance to bad junk.

Some people will always think "Ahts'n'Crafts" or "seagulls on ashtrays" when you say "The Arts." I know software designers and riggers who would disagree.

Anonymous said...

Reporters like dion validate syupid people's stupid thoughts.

Anonymous said...

"stupid"

Dr. Momentum said...

Wait - that was a column in the paper? I was convinced it was a post on the forum, or a comment on some actual writer's column.

The cute comments about jewelry were clearly supposed to be funny, but can the man write a sentence without a cheap shot in it?

ThirdMate said...

Fear makes a weak man do dishonorable and regrettable things. Like cheap shots. (At least when I shoot cheaply, the shots derive from anger and disgust.)

Sorry that I didn't clearly indicate the source of the offensive quote. I might have been satirizing the bottom-feeder, but even my powers of parody can not approach the depths of immodesty that Dion regularly plumbs.