Friday, December 31, 2010

Soles'n'Bowls

  • Why are so many online journals, sites, or "blogs" relatively quiet? Once upon a time, folk were nearly hourly keyboard-jockeying their link-filled and .jpg-attached way into the view of millions with Internet access. Now -- except in the case of some superior products -- an infrequent dab of benign personal observations suffice.
  • Speaking for myself and this Journal, I derive satisfaction from the shortform of social media (see the Facebook widget on the port rail?) and I grew tired of mocking local broadcasters, publications, and websites whose owners and operators neglect standards and spelling and grammar. Pointing out examples of the SouthCoast aversion to quality is, in the admonition of the old saw, like teaching a pig to sing.
  • It frustrates you and annoys the pig.
  • Taking swats at the low-hanging fruit of wretched SouthCoastery is a frustrating practice since the stink is uncompromising. For every suggestion of a dictionary, there are three dozen who say that "speling dont mean shit." For each nod to widely-accepted higher principles, there are shuddering intimations of stultifying parochialism.
  • This year, we discovered that people who Google™ themselves misread, misconstrue, and just misunderstand a post and subsequently connive some narcissistic masquerade. To no positive end.
  • I made the same mistake in my online journalizing that maddeningly amateur board members and business owners of The SouthCoast make. You don't just make it up as you go, no matter how clever you are at self-invention or diligent you are at self-policing.
  • Clumsy governance, inept fundraising, and slipshod marketing are not rendered any more legitimate by posting on your portico a smug handbill anouncing "That's the way it's done here." No amount of awkward excuses and contextless explanations will save your doomed idea.
  • I no longer have the inclination to profile and analyze the individuals who comprise the low-balling, miscalculating, unlettered and unfettered SouthCoast powers that be (or the more widely manifest SouthCoast term, "powers to be").
  • Putting an over privileged brat on a schooner in order to "instill confidence" only creates a confident overprivileged brat.
  • I'll address, in the way that I can, the growing poverty rate that effects children in this country, rather than kowtowing to obviously well-fed brats.
  • DONATE TO SAVE THE CHILDREN.
  • Or maybe Planned Parenthood.
An obligatory Julianne Moore, who works with Save The Children. And animals.

Friday, December 24, 2010

24

Ava Gardner You've still got time to pick up some treats or food or non-clumping cat litter or something and donate to your local animal shelter.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

23

Longtime readers of The Journal are aware of the tradition of the day before Christmas Eve: Christmas Adam. This year, we start an Impossible Tradition™ and celebrate Christmas Adam with the Christmas episode of Adam-12. Consider it "Christmas Adam-12."


Brought to you as a public service by The War on Festivus.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

22

Colo
Colo is the oldest inhabitant of the Columbus (Ohio) Zoo. She was born there on December 22, 1956. She's a great-great-grandmother. Gorillas are not indigenous to Columbus, Ohio.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

21

If you're observing the solstice today...Anne Heywood wasn't sure if this is the pagan holiday with the lamb or the goat....try not to overdo it.

Monday, December 20, 2010

20

Getting a leg up on decorating.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

19

Saturday, December 18, 2010

18

Betty Grable has more poinsettias for your cats!
You know what it's like having a birthday around Christmas when you're a kid? My sister and I -- born after Christmas -- were always regaled with "If Santa doesn't bring it, you'll get it on your birthday." Observing that our birthday wishes hadn't been acknowledged, we were accustomed to a rejoinder, "Remember what treasures you were rewarded on Christmas morning!"
I wonder if Betty Grable had to put up with that sort of sophistry in reverse since her birthday was December 18.

Friday, December 17, 2010

17

Thursday, December 16, 2010

16

Santa Michelle Gellar-Prinze

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

15

Seven years gone. Johnny Cunningham and his brother Phil. Phil is still with us.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

14

Støvledance

Monday, December 13, 2010

13

Remember December 13, 1941.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

12

Buon Natalie! Natalie Wood points out, once again, that poinsettias are not poisonous to cats.Her hair was actually twice as high when they took the picture. They airbrushed it out because it looked silly.And what are you doing feeding poinsettias to cats, anyway?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

11

Wassail along,,,

Friday, December 10, 2010

10

I love this bit:''The things that you're liable to read in the Bible...''

Thursday, December 9, 2010

9

They still do this, right?It's a forty year-0ld satire magazine Christmas cover.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

8

We only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later.It's that T-shirt that Val Kilmer wore in Real Genius, portraying real genius Chris Knight. Val Kilmer portrayed Chris Knight; the shirt portrays a gorilla and writing.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

7

I bet that even Dead End kids know what's behind the haggard 7 because December 7 is Tom Waits' birthday, and tradition demands that we share this:

Monday, December 6, 2010

oh, and

It's Dave Brubeck's birthday. Here's his (ahem, erm...) take on a seasonal favorite...

AND his take on the season in general...

6

Why, it's the Fiftieth Anniversary of President Eisenhower's creation of the federally-protected corner of northeastern Alaska known as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, so here's ol' honest Ike hisself:

Sunday, December 5, 2010

5

On December 5, 1933, the Twenty-First Amendment ended Prohibition.Decanter Claus And, to think that some people don't respect our Constitution.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

4

ackLook out! Deanna Durbin reminds you to take special care while decorating. Some children may become entangled in garland, cut themselves or choke on small broken shards of... oh, sorry. I thought I was writing for network teevee again.

Friday, December 3, 2010

3

Why, it's authentic frontier gibberish!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

2

ItShe probably spent more time in New Bedford during the filming of Down to the Sea in Ships than Frederick Law Olmsted.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

1

It's that time of year again. Hell, that time of year actually began about a month and a half ago, as the banausic bean counters rely on guilt-filled and pedestrian consumers to reconcile the corporate fourth quarter accountings.
As with any holiday, traditions abound. There's the turkey on Thanksgiving that we are are still eating remnants of as Advent starts. There's the Fourth of July Fireworks. There's the annual August Seventeenth mime competitions. And there's....

There's also free parking in downtown New Bedford until January 2.