Friday, April 1, 2011


5 foot, one-half inch.

  • Fortune magazine recently published another incrimination of suckers who still pay their employees. Awkwardly encumbered with an unnecessary question mark, it's entitled Unpaid jobs: The new normal? and will surely excite profiteers. The upshot is something that non-profits have known all along -- that the work of full-time benefitted workers is a drain on office resources and there are always eager volunteers to do the work required. With or without formal training or actual experience.
  • This is not to say that eager volunteers are unnecessary burdens to non-profits. Many of them are also entitled busy-bodies with an undeserved, over-developed sense of ownership.
  • They are not, however, unaware that the reason that they don't get paid to do their "jobs" is that the hole-in-the-ring leadership doesn't bother to do theirs. Which is to effectively raise revenue for the organization.

  • In my youth last century, the morning jitney ride to school provided a remarkable glimpse into what my first job in broadcasting would be like. That is to say: both were overseen by a cantankerous judgmental old coot who chomped on a cheap cigar during his shift and played mid- to lo-tempo Top Ten Hits on cheap equipment.
  • If I wasn't rolling my eyes at whatever noises issued forth out of a self-impressed maw, I was trying to drown out the sound by conjugating Latin verbs or rereading some funnybook or other.
  • I still thank both of these creepy geezers for the opportunities that they gave me to succeed in something other than what I was intending to do at the time. I chose to walk the mile to school on nicer days and eventually swore off toiling in the bitter desolate sham that is local AM Radio.
  • Local AM radio is still a bitter desolate sham, and still allowing its on-air types the opportunity to misquote and twist even simple pop culture references. Here, we hear one of those buffoons attribute a very famous line from "Cool Hand Luke" to the wrong actor. (Don't listen to the whole rambling "editorial;" the first ten seconds will suffice.) Here's the actual scene, with what the tiresome former newspaper man calls Paul Newman's "iconic wisecrack":

  • The former "Star Station" is now providing the opportunity to log on to their website and play tacky "sweepstakes" games. As soon as you give them a bunch of personal information. All you need is an ashtray and a styrofoam cup of Cremora, and you're ready to play scratch-off games online!
  • Just like the ones you could play if the authorities hadn't just shut down the "internet cafes" owned by a pathologically mischief-making city councillor.
  • Remember when I said that I'd forgive Fall River anything because I believe in the city where I was born? APRIL FOOLS!
  • Jane Powell was never referred to as "J-Poww."
    • Suzanne Lorraine Burce

      (This presentation celebrates Jane Powell.)

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